The next day, Sunday, wasn’t much better. My mom did come down and stay that
night. She did exactly what we needed; took care of Aiden, did the laundry, the
dishes, made supper, rubbed my feet and my back, and was just…my mom.
The sobbing is something that I have never experienced. It comes on quickly.
Occasionally something will trigger it (seeing my Pregnancy apps on my phone that
I had been checking every day for a month, or taking my Prenatal vitamins), but
usually it was just out of the blue (in the middle of taking a bite at supper, standing
in Pizza Hut) I know it sounds cliché, but I can feel my heart
aching and breaking. It hurts..quite literally.
The emotions I felt were unlike anything I have ever felt. I was sad, angry,
confused…lost. I stared off into space thinking and not thinking. My eyes hurt from
crying and my head hurt from crying. I felt empty. Little things like brushing my
teeth or chewing my food seemed so irrelevant. I was scared to think how long it
would last.
I wish I could always be there. In my heart, I am. Love you....Mom
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