Two things that are big for me right now:
1. I switched to panty liners on Sunday and as of Monday am no longer bleeding. I still haven't heard from my doctor about the ultrasound on Thursday, but I'm not in any hurry to schedule another one or go in for more blood work so I am just going to wait until they decide to call to give me the results.
2. I wore white pants today. Seems like a silly little thing doesn't it? But I haven't worn them in 4 weeks... for the same reason women don't wear them when they are having their period. I'm going to say it again.. it's the small things.
I felt really, really happy yesterday and today. I've been able to joke around with others, laugh at funny things, smile at people passing by, and make small talk. I love it.
I think I'm finally almost on the "other side". Am I "cured"? Am I "okay"? Am I "fixed"? NO. But I don't feel empty and desolate and depressed anymore. I still have sad moments and angry moments and confused moments. I still can't even think about what September 11th will be like, the day I should have heard my babies heartbeat. But I feel, to put it simply, happy.
ReplyDeletewow am excited now am now a mother of my own thank god
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