Saturday, August 3, 2013

Our third due date

Today is the due date of our third baby, the second baby we lost. It's hard to be sad when I have a little boy moving around inside me, ready to make his appearance in just a couple months. More than anything I've been thinking back to when I lost that baby. And wanting to reach out and hug that girl and say, "You WILL be okay. You WILL have another baby." I remember so vivedly feeling hopeless the night I miscarried. That time much more than the first. That was the night I cried longer and harder than I ever have, and it was the night when I started to look into adoption, thinking "I'm never going to carry another baby." Thank God for pushing me to look beyond sadness and hopelessness and see the light. Because now I have another little baby growing inside of me and he will be here before we know it.

This morning we walked at the "Heart Walk" with a family whose son was born with basically half a heart. We heard stories and saw other friends we know whose son or daughter has a heart defect. It puts things in perspective certainly and it magnified how unbelievably blessed we are to have a healthy almost 3 year old and another one on the way who appears to be very healthy as well.

I have chosen to take this day and make it a good, happy day, instead of a sad day. I will drink in every moment with my Aiden and smile brightly every time I feel my baby boy move, kick me, or have the hiccups :) 

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